Sleep

I go to bed every night hoping I will not wake up......

Regrets

got this from the book 'being happy' by Andrew Matthews

Live for now, not 'If only' or 'What will"

I have so many regrets that's almost uncountable. I feel I always make choices not for myself.

If I can restart,

I would not have join my sister during recesses & mugged in the library instead. Think she found me a pain. Like joining the recorder ensemble.
I would not have join track&field just so because the teachers put me into.
I would have have gone to Japan exchange program.
I would not have joined band in sec sch... & made the same mistake in jc.
Judo might have been more useful, at least I don't have to run 2.4 three times every year.
I would not have gotten myself into the band committee then. The first of many unappreciated gig. the first sign that I'm not a team player.
I would not have gone for foc or run for council. slack so much in aj or let the incident affect me...
I might not have derail or things might be better ...
sigh...

Un-ease

a sense of unease has been bothering me...

I don't know if it's because the awkward email to M, or the fact that I'm sure of next step, or the fact that RR hasn't respond (ok, it's monday..chill), or because I've no news on the reference letter... (ok, patience) or because I'm guilty of He said...

I need something to distract myself... ok, time to hit the papers...

mockery

i don't understand & will probably never will