It's Martin Luther King's Day. Dunno what is that, just that is a USA PH and I'm once again, slacking at work.
Ting was saying how she realised much time was lost due to poor planning after CV writing.
It leads me to some pondering while i was shiting (hah!)
How much time i've wasted and am wasting now...
Headhunter lecturer once said that for local uni grads, companies will see their results & how they carry themselves during interviews, professional experiences are not expected since, after all they study full time.
Whereas for part-timers like us, a degree is only to place us on equal playing field. If we r expecting to get a better job after the course, we r being too idealistic. In the end, it's the RELATED (i.e)working experiences that score high for us.
Half the class, including me, murmured a "O shit!".
Looking back at myself, ( i know we can't turn back time but still..)
I spent 8 months landing myself into one deep shit, 18mths wallowing in self denial, 20mths hiding in aquarium while getting paid and having intellectual deterioration at the same time.
as such, it doesn't really value add much.
Interest in sch has faded to a large extent this sem in the midst of the ongoing festivals and so is the confidence to score.
Am i being positively negative or negatively positive? Shrugzzz
Had plenty of plans in my mind which are basically as good as daydreams as long as there r not executions. Surf the career portals once in a while when im having withdrawal symptons. Jobs available are either too difficult for me or I'm too difficult for them, which leads me to contemplate escape elsewhere on earth that is even harder given my pathetic qualifications.
Things get so depressing sometimes that I wished i've went for nursing course instead. Hah!
Sometimes i hate what i have become - a frog-in-the-well kind of coward hiding in too much of a comfort zone, living life as it is, 得过且过,敷衍塞责,close to 吊儿郎当 even, shunning responsibilities, getting naggy (this cld be the onset of spinster-hood, haha!) and with personal goals of eat, shit, sleep and s** (I'm joking about this one, hah!)
Maybe that's the reason for escapade though everyone knows escaping is not the best route to solutions, but how many people really do what they say. Shrugzzz..
Don't worry, im not 胡思乱想-ing. This is a realistic self-reflection with no solution yet.
How come there isn't an "operating manual" accompanied with my birth, telling me what to do. It'll make things so much easier. I'm so screwed.
What to do, what to do?
Maybe i can start by being punctual to work again?! hurhur...
thinking of going Macau in april...no $$$
Rambles...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
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