Sorry

Can one apologize too much??? Somehow, somewhere, something... Recently, I've been saying this phrase quite frequently, a little too frequent I think.

At work... I apologize to suppliers for failed bids, to buyers for missed deadlines.
At home... I apologize to brat for my harsh tone, to mum for things undone, to sis for disturbing.
At outside, I apologize to friends for misunderstanding, for stood-ups, for upsets, even for certain untruths even...

Sigh... I'm so f***ed up.

Nope... Don't worry. This is NOT an onset of yet another DEPRESSION.

However, not all matters can be solved with just a word of apology. Sometimes, it might be the triggering factor of another headache-ing incident. Yep... I've thrown myself into an situation. This is not very good for a person who is SO EVER INDECISIVE. I HATE myself for being such an ASSHOLE. So much said about my hideous character... wahahahaha. I'm going crazy...

It is not my intention to keep you all in suspense. BUT give me some time to sort out this issue before I bare it all out to you all. I haven't quite figure out the whole scenario currently...

Jun: I wasn't kidding when I say I want your life. Hahaha...

Right now... I wished I can bury myself in tons & tons of school work, like complex calculus or a 4000 word essay (at least I gain from it intelluctually!!!) rather than cracking my brain cells over such affairs which just further complicate & smudge my life. Oh bother...

Maybe, perhaps, possible that things are not that perplexing as what I've assumed. Considering the frequency that being shunned at on MSN. Could it be coincidental or it just plainly that i've evolved into such unlikeable & annoying person?

3 more weeks to the start of course... not excited but I can't wait for it to begin. For then, I swear I'll throw everything behind & focus. I know I'm capable of that as I did it before & I can do it again...