MMTXRTT

tired

2011-10-18T22:15:00.000+08:00

so it has been a wishful thought on my end...

im tired... today supposed to be the turning point... so it's the point of downward spiral...

Denial

2011-09-18T11:52:00.000+08:00

So... I am suppose to identify and recognize my own feelings. I always choose to avoid and suppress them, which is why I am like that now...

Am reading this now http://www.mkprojects.com/fa_emotions.html

"The following are a few examples of the methods people use to avoid feeling their emotions.

Ignoring your feelings
Pretending something hasn’t happened
Overeating
Eating foods loaded with sugar and fat
Excessive drinking of alcohol
Excessive use of recreational drugs
Using prescription drugs such as tranquilizers or Prozac
Exercising compulsively
Any type of compulsive behavior
Excessive sex with or without a partner
Always keeping busy so you can’t feel
Constant intellectualizing and analyzing
Excessive reading or TV
Working Excessively
Keeping conversations superficial
Burying angry emotions under the mask of peace and love"

I am guilty for all of the above almost...

But somehow... I feel I am subconsciously rejecting recovery. I feel I don't deserve to be happy... it's so strange...

T was suggesting I may have feelings for him that I am not recognizing or hiding it. Am I? I don't even know... what is it like to like/love someone?
The fact that my heart ache every time he disappoints me or upset him unnecessary?!

Can I be emotionless? Again, another extreme approach that is unrealistic.

The root - could be the environment that I grew it in make me so oppressed?

Sleep

2011-08-24T02:29:00.001+08:00

I go to bed every night hoping I will not wake up......

Regrets

2011-08-22T13:40:00.000+08:00

got this from the book 'being happy' by Andrew Matthews

Live for now, not 'If only' or 'What will"

I have so many regrets that's almost uncountable. I feel I always make choices not for myself.

If I can restart,

I would not have join my sister during recesses & mugged in the library instead. Think she found me a pain. Like joining the recorder ensemble.
I would not have join track&field just so because the teachers put me into.
I would have have gone to Japan exchange program.
I would not have joined band in sec sch... & made the same mistake in jc.
Judo might have been more useful, at least I don't have to run 2.4 three times every year.
I would not have gotten myself into the band committee then. The first of many unappreciated gig. the first sign that I'm not a team player.
I would not have gone for foc or run for council. slack so much in aj or let the incident affect me...
I might not have derail or things might be better ...
sigh...

Un-ease

2011-08-22T13:27:00.000+08:00

a sense of unease has been bothering me...

I don't know if it's because the awkward email to M, or the fact that I'm sure of next step, or the fact that RR hasn't respond (ok, it's monday..chill), or because I've no news on the reference letter... (ok, patience) or because I'm guilty of He said...

I need something to distract myself... ok, time to hit the papers...

mockery

2011-08-12T11:42:00.002+08:00

i don't understand & will probably never will

June

2011-07-08T01:43:00.000+08:00

First a silent exit... hoping it to be once and for all

A relaxing planned trip in Shanghai.... culturally appalled that they don't have my shoe size.. I thought they are cosmopolitan city
Bestie trying her best to keep me accompany... really appreciate it... though it pains to see her working like crazy

A last minute, impulse-filled errand trip to Hong Kong. Experienced Typhoon3... wow really windy...
Experienced life like never before... Feel so surreal, unbelievable & unforgettable
If I die tomorrow, at least I've no regrets....
Felt so content & at peace that I didn't shop in the plane

Job hunt journey officially commence... indeed a bitch

A wrong move that caused me much pain in the back... If I can only attract indians and losers... I rather have nothing seriously

back to the office again... for couple of week... brace myself & control....

reminder to pick up the book... have to clear it this round... UK in Nov shall be the motivation.

anhedonic

2010-05-16T14:27:00.001+08:00

i think i have some serious issues. period.

2010

2010-03-21T16:02:00.002+08:00

still alive, unfortunately.

I've a lot of thoughts running in my mind... no one to grumble it too? is solution something i need or want, or I just want to vent?

i've always been the one listening....but who listens to me?

no 1 listens to me when i talk, everywhere.... not surprising.... everyone for themselves....

bother....it's so frustrating....

now i know why people pay psychiatrist to listen to them.....

back 2

2009-09-06T20:25:00.000+08:00

LoL... it's been 2 months since my last entry... unfortunately.. nothing has changed. still stressed out... by work, by school, by my wallet...

i think i like to torture myself... working so hard..neglecting supposedly 'impt' stuff... dunno for what... hahaha... even my boss is afraid of my workaholism...

sleeping in class, don't want but i can't help it... not paying attention to family when i know i should... not taking care the way i spend which i know is gonna land in problem one of these days....

like the feeling of stomach rumbling... like the feeling of 'too-many-things-to-do-but-no-time'... like the feeling of being overwhelmed and lost & trying hard for solutions...like the feeling of constant migraine, earache & gastric pain... like to think of death to escape problems... think i'm a sadist.

someone asked if I have thought of changing my thinking... i said maybe not.. actually what i wanted to say was maybe, you can me change if not....

can't wait for this year to end....

return

2009-07-04T13:31:00.008+08:00

Ok, i'm back...

recently, everyone has to 'youtwitface' in office. I forgot to remove my blog url on twitter hence gotta resort to 'hide' my blog instead...

I guess coast is clear now >.<

currently am totally stressed out by exams & personal finance disaster...

drop me a note if anyone wants to make some donation to my account

TQ!

Coincidentally, this is my 201st entry.

franglish

2009-06-16T00:12:00.002+08:00

I'm so tired!!! but i must blog about this hilarious conversation.

My company favorite intern went for a short trip to m'sia over the weekend. He took an overnight bus back to singapore and looked really exhausted. .. when one cannot focused... they cannot focused.

When my boss told him to help me with something tomorrow, he went, " ok, jacq... let me have a good rest tonight and I can do whatever you want me to do tomorrow...."

I went stunned for 3secs before bursting out in laughter...

Later on... when he was packing up and about to leave... I casually asked "You going back?"
He was like, " You need me?"

HAhAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Oh gosh.... so funny... LOL

believe it or not... i'm neurotic...

2009-05-10T17:27:00.006+08:00

i think qi can ascertain my neurotic state of mind...

i know i'm too honest, blunt, too serious, that i offend everyone around me... don't really care.

sometimes i can restrain, be nonchalant, sometimes i just lose control

most of the times i regret the words that came out of my mouth, so?

i just feel people in general cannot take truth right in their face...

just bcos I don't want to 委曲求全 it makes me a bully?!

what a world....

run.... don't run.... ? i want run to the end of the world, is there an end in the first place?

i'm officially broke... penniless... no money to pay school fees.. bills... library fines... running into debts....

so screwed....

do u have this feeling that somehow things always go well for some people while life just sux for u...?

even if their troubles seem so 'perfect'? maybe they have the ability to 拿得起放得下

why why why why why why why why why why why why why why............?

so sianz................ so demoralising... my mental state is not healthy... i bite.

aiya.... i just don't fit in. bleh

movies

2009-05-03T15:23:00.002+08:00

it is always this time, whenever there's movies i wanted to catch, that I realized I really don't have many friends...

so far.... i think i only managed to catch one movie myself i think... other than that i resigned to not not watching at all...

definitely not walloping in self-pity, kinda enjoy this somehow... im such a psycho... hahahahaha...

down

2009-04-18T20:48:00.003+08:00

i'm feeling a bit disoriented now.... lots of things to do, lots of things to settle, lots of issues to to tackle...

dunno why things end up like this... I SUX at people-people relationship management =(

anyway, i'm officially a mac convert. Got my own macbook.

Selling my 3 month old dell to Qi. I'm so happy that she got a job offer, so happy that things are brightening up for her.

Wish she can rub some of the good fortune on me...

so sianzzzz.... i need to talk and sort.

am i taking things too seriously?

http://flightsq047.blogspot.com/2009/04/wife.html

2009-04-14T22:56:00.002+08:00

LoL was reading qi's entry on 'wife'

she was 'grumbling' how come she has yet to find her 'the one' despite the fact that she is equipped with all the 'wife' qualities

LoL

i tot otherwise. I don't think my mum trained us so that we can be better wives of others. it's more like to train our independence so that we DON'T need the others. doubt guys of our age can change lightbulbs or hammer stuff.... minced big charcoal stove and minced 3kg of meat. Hahaha!
one area qi excel in which i totally have no flair in: sewing!!! whahahahah

choco craziness

2009-03-29T14:12:00.002+08:00

hmm.... i'm not addicted to chocolate. On the contrary, i think i should stay away from chocolate.

Never like chocolates of any sort, for those who know me well. Don't mind to have a bit occasionally....

i always tot bananas have an uncanny effect on me... but i think i should stay away from chocolates too. ....

Went crazy after the brownie cake last fri... the scary part is i've totally have no control over it. ...

It only hit me that i was not alright like the next day?! gosh... it's worse that alcohol.. at most some rashes & KO...

So dreadful.... urps...

anger

2009-03-21T21:25:00.003+08:00

So so so so so so so so so so so so Angry with myself...

took things too lightly this sem... poor time mgmt... arrogance...

left 20mins after the exam commenced this morning...

cannot answer anything... with lack of knowledge even crapping skills failed.

puke until my guts flipped...

so pissed, so mad...

2 years of hard work down the drain... there goes my 1c or maybe 21c... maybe I'll end up with such a ordinary useless qualification... exactly like before. How Great...

Got my 1st borderline marks last sem, didn't learn the lesson.

By the time I panicked... too many unanticipated happenings impeded the planned.....

spent too much at work, on non value-adding stuff.

I'm in a constant dilemma with myself on this...
don't like the fact that work got distributed out.. yet I don't have the time or even capability perhaps to handle... too many nitty-gritty stuffs to sort.. diluted focus... poor planning... inability to multi-task....

want to excel but can't/unable... should I just don't care... need to sort out this internal doubt/struggle...

Are these reasons or excuses, i wonder... maybe i'm just not up to it... all these higher level of work or studies... i'm just a mediocre... time to end those self deceptions... hhahaha...

Inefficiencies, procrastinations, depressed... gosh... it's all coming back....i hate this.

i hate the lack of control... the lack of system in my life... i hate myself..

i sux.

Friday 13th

2009-03-13T23:21:00.002+08:00

yet another friday the 13th...a sombre one...

my youngest uncle passed away this morning... was in the news

like my eldest uncle 2yrs back... also in the news...

life's so unfair... how can tragedy struck this family twice... lost their mum decade back... now their dad...

life sux...

stay strong, my couzs...

Whiplash effect

2009-03-01T14:44:00.002+08:00

TMD... woke with soreness all about my body... like kenna hit by car like tt...

BUT... felt better today in terms of spirit...

Spent 2 hrs at northpoint just now (very discipline... kept to the time schedule)

- the same bus came in 3mins. (see lah, when u suay, everything is suay. see previous post)
- get to eat what i want to eat (prata sausage and cone pizza)
- bought what i want to buy (3 pairs of shoes)
- black shawl (this is just retail therapy, $10 anything lah)
- only spoiler was this cashier (code3). they put this $10 insole on the $5 rack, obviously I'll assume it is $5 right?! when i realized it was $10 when she scanned, obviously I say I dun want lah. when I return with the correct $5 one, she was giving me that pek chek look saying next time must check the pricing, if not very troublesome for her. (note: troublesome, not difficult)
*** i was completely bewildered lor. how complicated can it get to void an item??? sometimes double scan also need to void right... not that she hit the enter key already. Moreover, I'm the customer leh. Plus, I was really apologetic..... furthermore the store manager was there and she saw everything.

Learn from your manager lah... she came up to me when i went back to take the correct one and assisted me with the different kinds of the insole, how to clean them and reuse etc.... She even explained probably a customer place it wrongly and apologized that they didn't noitce it in time and hence my incovenience.

it was because of the manager that I was subtle in my reply to that cashier. I told her i was mistaken and people do made mistakes and I've already apologized. If she need to explain to the management I can verify for her. My last sentence " You don't have to give me that face, you know".

At least I didn't say the cliche one, 'I'm the customer leh, I'm always RIGHT!' hahahhahaha =)

ok.. back to info crunching....

belated Fri13th?! SUX!!!

2009-03-01T02:24:00.003+08:00

I conclude today 28Feb09 is the unluckiest day of my life...

Woke up to find up toothbrush missing, ended up it was knocked by the mop by got stuck behind the toilet bowl... shit... throw...

Can't find my mirror

Can't find my jeans...

mental block... can't write anything for the report

saved the wrong part of my report...

SO SO SO frustrated that I slammed the table twice, kick my bed thrice!!!

waited 10mins for a bus...

got stuck beside a BO guy in the train...

got caught in this ULTRA heavy rain from dhoby ghaut to koven

shoes is giving way & i've no time to get new ones

had a lousy dinner with people that got me 'raising brows' every now and then

WORSE of the worse: slipped and fell along the pavement and landed besides the stinkin' dumpster with the whole world staring at you. how nice... -_-'''

WORSE WORSE of the worse: got nagged by the folks how I should have walked slower. this is so unjust... i was walking very slowly, intending to go to the concrete path and away from the tiled pavement cos I knew my shoes cannot make it. it was aldy squishy squashy from the rain earlier.... like I want to slip against the rubbish bin like tt.... haiz...

STUPID!!!!

I got this FUJI APPLE SIZED BUMP on my butt now.... it better subside by thursday....

can't imagine when the plane started to land..... gosh...

speaking of which.... i'm going to BKK on Thursday but I havent got a proper shoe to wear, havent pack my stuff, no toothbrush, no nice nice clothes for the agenda, no $$$

PLUS report only 30% done... need to hand in 60% for review on coming MONDAY

got lesson on on and tues

PLUS exams in 1 mth's time, with NO revision notes made or planned.

PLUS gotta read 200+ notes for an important meeting on coming MONDAY

I'm so screwed.... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH

WARNING: will be in extremely pesky/irritated/lousy/angsty mood this few days. if you can't help me, stay out till next week. THANK you!

lol

2009-02-21T18:11:00.001+08:00

dearest ting, if you managed to finally figure out this blog address...

GOOD FOR YOU!!! =)

Profiling test

2009-02-16T00:55:00.003+08:00

Was really amazed by the accuracy of Qi's result so I did one also... noticed I've this stupid 'loyalty' in me... duh... lol... maybe i should submit this to my boss so can know my style... hahaha!

At a Glance

• Works hard, puts in long hours and keeps busy with work.

• Detailed, meticulous and observant, quick to pick out abnormalities.

• Objective, but may appear detached.

• Quiet and reserved, prefers own company.

• Faithful, trustworthy and devoted in long-term relationships.

• Practical, prefers to build on ideas rather than generate them.

• Less expressive verbally.

• Needs clear and thorough instructions, slow to act when uncertain.

While at Work

Diligence and discipline are characteristics of Ms LIM's work attitude. She is often pre-occupied with the tasks at hand. As she derives satisfaction from being immersed in work and thrives on being involved, expect Ms LIM to put in long and extended hours at work.

Ms LIM is relatively dependable to deliver results on time. She may sometimes be late in meeting deadlines.

Ms LIM generally will persist with work until it is completed but may at times not complete her tasks.

Ms LIM is likely to be quality-conscious and achievement-oriented. She is motivated to produce work that is of a high standard. She is observant, quick to spot errors and critical where work is concerned. She is likely to be meticulous, careful and pre-occupied with detail.

Ms LIM is an objective person who is impartial and rational. She speaks factually and often does not involve her own feelings and emotions. She may sometimes be perceived as distant or detached.

Although Ms LIM is usually a sympathetic person, she may at times be selective about being involved in the personal problems of people.

Being a shy, quiet and reserved person, Ms LIM prefers her own company and feels awkward when meeting people for the first time. In social gatherings, she tends to stay in the background.

Ms LIM is the sort of person who forms long term bonds and attachments. She is faithful, trustworthy, and devoted in such relationships. She tends to be trusting, dedicated and protective towards those she loves. Patriotism and sense of duty is a significant aspect of her character.

Ms LIM is moderately serious about her responsibilities and selectively takes ownership of her work.

Ms LIM is moderately concerned with prestige, rank and reputation.

Ms LIM is at times able to engage people to accomplish her objectives.

Ms LIM's leadership qualities are moderate and she is sometimes able to get the support of people.

Intellectual matters do not interest Ms LIM. She is more concerned with practical issues than abstract theories. Ms LIM prefers to talk about useful and workable solutions than discuss hypotheses and concepts. She is more likely to build on ideas rather than generate them.

Ms LIM puts in effort to plan ahead some of the times. She may at times not be as detailed in her planning.

Ms LIM is not an expressive person and may have difficulty expressing her ideas, thoughts or plans. Her language ability may not be strong and she could be described as a person of few words.

Being one who needs clear and thorough instructions before she can proceed on action, Ms LIM resists when conditions are uncertain. She does not adapt easily to changes. Before she embarks on a new project, expect Ms LIM to find out more and probe deeply.

Ops!

2009-02-15T13:03:00.002+08:00

After the previous post, I put a very angry msg on my msn. It end up attracting some concerns from friends, so I removed it. hee...heee

I'm fine already..... just couldn't take it down momentarily... lol

Although i know they won't see this, just like to thank them here.... both very unexpected but still.... it's good to know i've actually more friends than i thought...

wow.. i'm getting very virtually verbal these days... hahaha

Wrote msg on facebook also... " Jacqueline is going back to 'open eyes, open ears, close mouth'

Being expressive is just not my forte.... going back to 'shuddup' mode....

Reminder* don't be kaypoh, don't be observant, don't be curious ~ just do what i'm paid for.... shuddup.. shuddup..shuddup

sidenote: like qi, we tend to increase blogging frequency when we are bogged down by important things to do... hahhahahaha!

KNS....

2009-02-15T01:03:00.003+08:00

I can't believe I pon the very lesson when such an important announcement was made!!!

I can't believe NO one bother to tell me!!!

I can't believe they scraped the assignment!!!

due to stupid reasons like this:

- The class in general did very averagely/badly for the part A assignment that was handed in
- This is the 1st time the class is doing a highly weighted assignment, with a short period of time.
So, our lecturer negotiated with UoB professors to drop this assignment and resumed the 100% examination based

I can't believe they scraped the assignments Lao Niang has both COMPLETED!!!!!

GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Seems like we will get the graded part A back next week, if I scored well - I'll so pisssed!!!! (though i'm as pissed now)
WHY WHY WHY do I have to be penalized for the laziness / incompetence / lackadaisical attitude / stupidity of the others, always!!!

I'm very busy one leh.... could use all the time to finish the other project!!!! SHITE...

The lecturer has no right to do this.... even if I had scored badly.
i'm not boasting... most people will fare badly in exams, with or without assignments....

shit

2009-02-14T21:04:00.002+08:00

going bkk in 2wks time...

need to clear 4500 words by then

shit.....

STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS....

i'm losing hair by the thousands one per daily basis.... any sponsor for iron tablets????

diaozzz....

2009-02-08T21:30:00.001+08:00

so much for 'lucky'....

I lost my office key... darn =(

Very stresssssssssssssss........ my excel skills sux. How to self improve?

Lucky!!!

2009-02-03T00:38:00.003+08:00

Just 2mths ago, I won $100 by participating in the Heaven & Earth sms contest.

Today, i got a letter from DBS saying they are giving a swatch cos i'm one of the 1st 1200 to spend $1000 on my debit card??!!! Didn't even know they got this promo...

hahaha! must thank my boss for giving me so many opportunity to spend $$$

Lucky year for me!!!

btw, thank you my darling friends for the border gift card =) Like it a lot =)

Busy

2009-01-18T13:06:00.001+08:00

When you have work, studies and home on your hands, there comes the problem of balancing and ultimately the issues of prioritizing.

Unfortunately for me, this year I've to put home responsibilities on the back seat... hoping hard that other members can rise to the occasion.

I'm unable keep an eye but i'll try to put an ear in.... lol

Alright... let me try to wrap up my hrm assignment by today....

Urgh... i need more time.

Sidenote: silently reminded myself to be careful what I wished for birthday. Last year, I wish for a smarter boss & I sort of got it?! Not sure if it's a good wish but it definitely works! Lol

Far far away?

2009-01-13T00:16:00.002+08:00

It's so strange... even though I'm physically located nearer to school than the previous work place, I sorta distancing away from my studies...

whahhaaa... what irony.. cannot lah.. must buck up.

A bit too early to wish but i guess i more probably concuss tmr. anyway....

what i want for this year birthday is More Time, More Money!!! hahahah!

hope things go well for both my sistas...

Simply don't understand

2009-01-10T22:00:00.003+08:00

I just don't understand...

Kids nowadays have such good life (ok, maybe minus the school pressure but hey, we got that in our generation also!!!)

But they don't appreciate it...

Whose fault is it that parental slavery exists?!

I simply don't get it....

New Year 2009

2009-01-01T22:27:00.002+08:00

Once again, spending bulk of the first day of 2009 on mahjong

The last minute arrangement overthrown all my planning for this long hols.

Shit... can't seem to gear up for the assignment...

sianzzz

Been too much of a double standard person these days...

Plan: not to get new clothes for new year
Actual: got 2 tops, 1 pants & a pair of heels in 1day

Plan: not to eat too much
Actual: over gorge myself

Plan: to have a peaceful & normal countdown
Actual: went out for overnight mahjong

Plan: to finish my assingment
Actual: hardly any progress from the last time i started

DIE!!!!

New

2008-12-25T14:15:00.002+08:00

Alright, new skin & new url for the new year =)

Always like this city, skyscrapers kinda landscape, ironically cos' i'm not a city person myself.

Did not notify anyone of this new site. I'm such an oddball, more comfortable with strangers & passer-bys looking at this than people I know.

It's xmas today, a peaceful & quiet one this year, exactly what I've wanted.

The schedule for the remaining 2008
- this week: finish 1500 HRM assignment one
- next week: finish 1500 HRMassignment two

How nice -_-"'

Back to chomping notes...

Happy New Year, World!

Insanity

2008-12-14T01:50:00.003+08:00

O dear... i think i'm going crazy.

I've 5 books to read, (probably going to drop 2 of them), 3 assignments to write (2 to submit in January 2009), need to sort out the mess at work, settle my personal stuff, keep an eye (& put my hand in also) family duties while sneezing and coughing away my lungs in the midst of festival season and birthdays celebrations.

What a way to 2008 closure.... i expect it to be better -_-"'

O man, either I learn how to do things faster or give me 36hrs a day. shit, that leaves me with no choice...

i sworn to myself that if i can't finish what I've to do by 8th Jan 2009, I'm not going to celebrate my birthday...

Come on, MOTIVATE!!!

Sidenote: It's HRM module this sem...it's ridiculous that our assignments have to be handed in the week we finished our lectures. how to write when you are not taught anything on it yet???!!!
O yes, degree level i know. Year 3 is like a triple jump from the 1st 2 years....
anyway if you have materials/readings that you think can help me, HELP ME!
Thank you!!!

blogging hiatus

2008-12-07T12:09:00.002+08:00

Alright... i'm still alive. min was remarking the other day about was I planning to do a post/month?!

Lol

some updates

exam came and go... probably a goner this time.
bought a laptop, this and that (year-end is a spending period), a/c suffering.
work is ... ... shrugz ... dunno what to say.

need to start on my project like now...

not in the writing mood... tt's all for now.

Coco Tea - Barack Obama

2008-11-08T13:03:00.001+08:00

It's on!

2008-11-01T15:43:00.002+08:00

8 years since our First together trip to Yunnan, the 4 of us are planning the 2nd together trip to BKK next feb.

We finally managed to synchronize our schedules after so so so so so many years... lol
ironically, when we are all out of school, almost.

Hope there are more to come, hopefully once a year?!

3 more months to go....

but firstly I got impt things on hand.

3more weeks to exams, again!!! Endure endure endure.... 1 more year to go only.

I need to come up with a kickass project sia!!!

10252008

2008-10-25T22:45:00.002+08:00

Wow... closed to a month of non-blogging.

Dunno what i've been busy with also.. these days time just zoooooommmmmmmm past.

3weeks into the new job, i got so sick that i have to take mc. Wonder if that will affect the 'performance review' mah.. In inverted commas cos im not if there is one.

Another 3weeks to exam.. i havent start on anything yet. so dead....

FYP is badly neglected and I feel like changing topic again... shit.

This is not a good month bcoz' I've spend so much $$$... die.

Need to pay school fees again somemore.. die die die...

C'est La Vie

2008-09-29T13:26:00.003+08:00

This is so gonna be my favourite phrase of the year. LOL

Think i use it at least once a day while msn-ing Leng. O well... not much chances left though..

This is it! after one of the fastest decisions made in my life, Tmr will be my last day after 30months. Quite a feat actually..

As i said many times to many ppl, I'm going to swear off enviromentally UNfriendly takeaways once i leave this place.

A mixture of feelings, excited abt the new envt n exposure yet worried that I might not live up to expectations.

still ok with the job scope n stuff, just really paranoid abt my wardrobe!!

Hope what i bought last sat is enough to last me appropriately. Geez

Wish me well... haha!

Sidenote: Will I miss my current workplace? Probably an absolute No.

Monday

2008-09-22T10:36:00.001+08:00

I woke up earlier than usual cos i tot i heard a cat mewing, than i realised it was min's crying.
I tot something was not right cos i didn't hear mum's scolding. anyway scoldings can't make her cry. she will just sulk n pout.
then i hear mum n qi rushing to her... so I went to check out what happened lor.
It seems she cracked her finger while trying to unravel her mop of hair and it was so painful that she teared. what the... =_='''
U need a haircut, Jamie Darling. ...

sunday at home is all play, no work.
Being monday, is a bored shitless day at work. gathering tt no 1 will be coming in today, i think i shld try to do some tutorials. doubt i'll get a chance to do it properly once i start the new job.

im missing out the yr end bonus due to my departure.. so its a ultimate broke mth. have to resort to withdraw payout for the sch fees. Must be careful in spending this 2 mths.
Thank goodness my acccumulated kind deed has kind returns. dun have to be bother by the bills until next year, at least.
For my benefactoress' generosity, i wish her luck, confidence and big smile for her interview later... erm.. i mean now. lol

OMG....

2008-09-16T12:38:00.003+08:00

i just did the most difficult thing in my life so far... and i think the worse has yet to come..

Im anticipating whirlwind for the next 2 month, i hope its not whirlpool...

Breathe Deeply......

Lucky Streak

2008-09-13T23:14:00.002+08:00

Ooohh... I won $10 from a SingaporePool's ScratchIt!

See... the upward trend of the bungee effect is taking off... LoL

The interview went quite well except of some hicuups & embarrassing moments.. thinking of it now, i still cringed n stomach flipped. Well... it was a good experience nonetheless.. I guess I got the luxury to know who is the interviewer beforehand & i think that helps. All thanks to Jun...

Tmr going to meet the gang for Mid-Autumn's gathering... n im gonna get my HP6 & MP3.

Thanks to Ting & Jun(again)!

Now.. i really to get my fyp going...

Bungee Jump

2008-09-03T09:14:00.007+08:00

Nope... haven't tried tt out. just tot i've been living in a bungee junpy way.

work my way upwards, plunge myself downwards in split seconds, dangle for a while, slowly climb up and the cycle continues...

i'm currently climbing up...

series of coincidences recently...

was thinking of getting a MP3 for the longest time, on-off desire but after a series of meeting whacky ppl ard me (saw an uncle making expletives at a bus stop billboard featuring Team Singapore), i tot i really need one to distract myself from the envt. Then got a mail from jun saying she got lobang for MP3. Great! save myself from the crowd or make pressured-purchase.

was telling qi maybe we shld use the bookstores vouchers to get HP6 & 7. few days later in the middle of a mj game, ting called to say she saw HP6 at 2ndhand bkstore at thomson, so got her to help me get it. Wonderful!

I 'spring-cleaned' my work desk ytd, literary flipped the whole table n thrashing out old stuffs. Some will know i got this fetish of packing (ting will nod her head vigourously i think, got tramautised by me last taiwan trip). anyway... my boss is one of those 'dunnos' as he kept giving me that raised-brows side looks from his table. I DO look like im packing to leave for good. LOL

anyway during qi's job searching period, i make a mental note to update my resume in case of any sudden opportunity and it came... jun's lobang. going give a shot n try not to embarrass jun in the process...

i got pressured-purchased by the beauticians... so it's facial for me.?!!! can u imagine? let's see if I look more radiant after the whole thing...

Why is that I need to spend $ when i'm at the poorest or is it that the spendings make me poor?
haizzz.... absence of 1 mth pay is enough to get myself in a pathetic position.... i still got 2 more instalments to go for sch fees... die.. must restrain myself from unneccessay expeditures now on.

我要赚多多钱！！！

PS: this is creepy man... i was thinking to myself of asking couz S abt my fyp and she suddenly MSN me out of the blue. another coincidence?!

那个让我又爱又恨的姑娘。。。

2008-08-27T09:22:00.003+08:00

Dear 敏敏,
Wish you everlasting fun, laughter, peace & joy!
~ Happy Birthday ~

PS: All the best in the swimming meet & future ones to come!

Love, Oei

clothes

2008-08-25T14:25:00.002+08:00

I can't help but thinking of the association.
from clean folded clothes to dishing out dirty laundry...
incredulous...
is this 苦中作乐? shrugz...

20082008

2008-08-20T14:37:00.006+08:00

Just realised today is the 20/08/2008 when i wrote the cheque... hmm.. interesting day to note the bizzare occurences

#1: was waiting for the sch shuttle bus last sat at queenstown when a lady (chinese) approached me to help her sms. it seems that she just went to visit a friend (indian male) at queenstown prison and needed to help him pass a msg to his ex-wife (Fillipina). Strange combi, right?
The sms was a simple one stating when is he coming out, that he missed their daughter, and he doesn't love her and has nothing with her anymore and don't bother her after he is out.

i was constantly in the bewildered mode... diaoz. The lady started to talk to me like an old friend after i sent the sms. told me the why the guy was in imprisioned the 3rd time (overstay, using stolen nirc and overstay again), received his 6 rotans at which part of the butt... ask me if she can applied him over to sg, how to do it, etc.. (she think im ICA is it?!) if not she gotta meet him at m'sia instead.
She could have gone on and on if I didn't sms my classmate to meet me there. Sweat...

#2: same day, at the school library where no-necked G was there with his gang. I was looking through this textbook when he came over to tell me POLITELY the recommended text was at the other side. This sudden change of attitude caught me by surprise and again the look of surprise. This is weirder that #1 in my opinion but later i figure out it cld be cos Girl N was with me and he wants to impress as usual.

#3: at work: desperado EK called for 1 quotation. He has the tendency to overstep. when i realised i faxed to their old location, not knowing they had shifted, he went "U so cute, still faxed there". +_+''' later on, " do u still owe me anything? or I got owe you dinner, lunch?" While i rolled my eyes in disgust, i was quite calm to ignore whatever he said and ended the conv with " i faxed the quote to you now. Bye."
Leng later commented that i'm so challenging, no wonder he continued to do that. O please...

#4: on the bus59 after work. this uncle kept asking me how to read the road names. Gotta explain what's PIE jurong, Changi Airport, Bedok, Tuas, etc in mandarin. A local but he doesn't even know what's 'highway'. People around us was raising their brows when i have to said 泛岛快速公路.
whatever...

#5: this is power... dear ms tan actually asked me what is the url for her blog. i tot it was a trick qn before i typed "wordpress.com?" with hesitation. her reply, "O ya.. i totally forgot"
Win liao lor... lolz

Guess this is one of those rare funny entry i wrote since dunno when. Though the incidents are quite funny as it is, can't seem to put it across in the right tone. Qi can do this well while im plauged with negativity in syntax. lolz

New Skin

2008-08-12T00:11:00.002+08:00

Yup, new skin... for a change.

It's getting easier to do this nowadays, no need to have knowledge of html & whatsoever.

Another week ahead.... I woke up on mondays waiting for fridays...

Blocked

2008-08-06T15:04:00.002+08:00

I logged in not knowing what to blog...

lack of bloggable activites these days... in hermit mode again.

health index on the plunge, too much distress

losing twinkle in the eyes, almost irrecoverable by now i think

dropped swimming... resume work.... (how i wished it was the other way round)

skimed through 5th exam anyhow... started 6th sem this wk

procrastinating on my dissertation workflow... classmates still as irritable

Hair cut, but no weight cut ( can't believe this, was on light diet for a few weeks, kns)

still attitude at work

yet to recover from the last sat's aftermath

Life is such a miserable affair... if only i could swap...

end up, wrote quite a bit eh?!

Drama

2008-07-27T21:02:00.002+08:00

how dramatic can a person's life be, or a month of it to be exact?!

im a pathetic fool, period

Unwell

2008-07-03T11:06:00.002+08:00

I'm NOT feeling very good.... haizzz

there's indeed something very wrong with me when i cannot enjoy my mum's cooking as usual.

i get hungry every few hours but i've no apetitte...

Gastritis kept churning stomach, making me toss n turn in my bed whole night long.. half awake half the night...

Bad sleep = more complications.... Heatiness gives me Headache, Ulcer, and now dunno is toothache or gum ache... plus the continuous belching and nausea & feeling very tired in the day...

Life is so hellish now... crap -(

Come on ppl, surprise me with a blog entry leh....

So irritated!

2008-07-01T11:47:00.005+08:00

I just want to clear 3yrs to get qualifications, as simple as that. Guess, it's just wishful thinking on my part.

it's almost like battling, less physical more mental. On top of the load of tutorials to clear & the occurence of exams 3x a year with a on-going job, I still have to handle some people's imaturity, under table schemes & plots, hypocrisy & even tactlessness.
I assume that as compared to full time, there will be more intellecutals around. Come to think about it now - What a JOke!
it's like back to primary school.. .

i know there's something wrong with me, in terms of socialising. Weird, odd, strange... whatever..
I never find ' to blend with the majority' an essential... judging from the number of friends which i can count with 1 hand, it has always been like this. Making small chats is a tedious task to me, i rather kiss a python.

I keep a low profile, quiet, independent, satisfy on being alone or even aloof . Yet there are just some stupid pple that like to magnify my abnormality ( yah.. i agree im not normal)
Does my oddity really affect you so much? or just plain envy that i'm what u can't?!

What's strange is the amount of phone calls, sms and emails i always get around exam periods. When Ppl who normally whisper behind your back suddenly come up to you with a bright chripy smile, u know something is not right. " Jacq, want to go makan? Jacq, want to go home together? " Before u know it, " Jacq, u finish this qn aldy? Can i read ur ans? How u write ar? want to swap ans? "
i pui pui pui pui pui... *roll my eyes*

Instead of focusing on the lessons, i've to crack my brain to taiji all these idiots away, act real stupid n blur & timing my exits to avoid all this pests! TMD... Wah Kaozzz... this is more tiring than the lesson itself!

this is Crazy!!! Seriously... u ppl should really get a life..
start by reading the newspaper & oberve what's around u.
Public display of ignorance is just not cool, i tell ya.

I think im weird because i'm more sane than them...

I remained unperturbed but trust me, no one day has past w/o me thinking of throwing a chair at ....

16 more months...

Filler Post

2008-06-19T11:04:00.003+08:00

JacQ-- says (11:02AM):

isn't it strange how 2 ppl who were once so close can become complete strangers...

Li Leng-- WhAt ShOuLd I BuY foR GSS?? =) says (11:04 AM):
once u decided to step out of his life or have a life w/o him, u will have no more connection w/him

Anyway... this is just one of the more intellectual topics both of us engage in out almost daily msn club =) haha!

No time to update ar... ambushed & exhausted work (endless cutting of twines), school (exams in 01mth.. die..), swimming (sore arms...) & other random stuffs...

GOSH... I need all the willpower i've to clear this midyear...

sehhh...

PS: i just realised my 3 good friends are all out of town this wkend... the only R&R i get is the swim session with min earlier this evening in tt murky salty crowded yishun swimming complex. Mum even mentioned tt the saltiness is cos ppl urine in the pool... DIAOzzz

Madness!

2008-06-07T23:26:00.003+08:00

Today is full of madness...

i took the wrong side of the train, transferring at city hall instead of raffles place & realising only when i reached paya lebar?!!! So smart...

i found my partner in crime... ms lin.

5hrs in bugis & i went home with 3pairs of shoes ($16 in all, yes total not each) & 3 tops ($10 each) & 1 atomiser which i've been looking for it for the longest time.

i realise I like to buy 3pairs in a day... hahah! Quite satisfied purchase.

unfortuanately only 1 top fits me well, another 1 so-so & 1 i cld not button up. darn the chest...

i feel fat after coming back from Penang... time to work out.... Eating trips do not suit me.

Btw, for all those concern souls. I got AABB last sem... all of the lower range. Quite disappointed esp when 1 person i taught got a freaking 91 when i got 79 nia for the damn FM. Imbalance... *shake head shake head* to console myself, not bad lah for someone who missed 40% lesson due to chicken pox right?!

Starting to pia now!!!

Generation Gap

2008-05-30T12:38:00.003+08:00

Jamie says (12:27 PM):
i can't talk to u now cause the singnet broadband is a little bit crazy lah so i will talk to u at sunday instead
JacQ says (12:28 PM):
im not going out tmr or tonight
JacQ says (12:28 PM):
dun make it sound like im always not ard
Jamie says (12:28 PM):
school
JacQ says (12:28 PM):
can ask dajie to check the pc later
JacQ says (12:28 PM):
what school
Jamie says (12:28 PM):
ur school
JacQ says (12:28 PM):
tmr no sch
Jamie says (12:30 PM):
tomorrow talk to u in the afternoon cause i got something to do at morning
JacQ says (12:30 PM):
diaoz.. u very busy hor
JacQ says (12:30 PM):
oki
JacQ says (12:30 PM):
so later i cant talk to u at home lah
Jamie says (12:31 PM):
maybe iam going swimming
JacQ says (12:31 PM):
u very funny
JacQ says (12:31 PM):
i cant stand it anymore
JacQ says (12:31 PM):
oki lah
JacQ says (12:31 PM):
bye
Jamie says (12:31 PM):
byebye

Unstable Network,SATC & Flatulence

2008-05-30T10:13:00.007+08:00

This is so frustrating... 'wavering' network in office. Costs me to be constantly DC during msn, never mind.... but cannot connect to blogpsot server means my entry cldn't be save in time.
The overloaded PC now keeps hanging... need to defrag i guess.

This is the ~~3rd~~ 4th time im creating this entry... argh! Stupid...

Anyway, the below was meant as a reply at jun's blog but it keeps hanging that i got frustrated. She has alluded us to the characters in Sex and The City... haha!

my response:

Charlotte is the most conservative and traditional of the group, 'pretty' much like you =) U put me as the career-minded lawyer with extremely cynical views on relationships and men. Hah! how appropriate... Sam is sexually promiscuous while Leng is sexually provocating. =p I tot Leng might share the same shoe-fetish as Carrie?! Ting has a bit of everything, i agree... I wld love for us to be like tt, minus the problematic r/s part. hah!

This whole week has been pathetic, for myself. Down with a real bad sore throat + PMS mood swings... with ppl thinking u are cao geng n other stuffs -things are really not going well. Think i rubbed many ppl off during the period.... causing unnecessary worries also. sorrie guys...

unhelpfully, my haywired disgestive system adds on to my frustrations. Been belching & flatulenting these days whenever im hungry or just eaten. Think is some gastric complications due to occassional absences of breakfast, irregular meal times, poor diet, over-starved & sometimes over-stuffed. Thankfully im always alone in the office so that i don't to ferment those, i must insist, ordorless flatus.

So ppl, please take care of yourself. Breakfast is very IMPORTANT, really. unless you like to burp loudly uncontrollably in a room of 40+ ppl. =(

hm rs has been quite strained since the decision... or even since the return... heng-fully things r making a good turn.. at least what i tot. Guess this need time to adjust... The possible recall of decision came as a surprised... wonder if im partly accountable unconsciously?! but even so, i feel this is the best way out, at least considering the situation now.

1 lesson learnt... it is really difficult to exercise generosity with grace, at least i failed this time round. Along with many other factors, it is hard to keep an objective stand. maybe i just like to keep ppl i care with me?! wah, so selfish... cant even tahan myself.

I got a serious character FLAW. whahaha! (by now i think the pms is fading off, hence the insanity)

1 good thing: Can go shopping together =) maybe can resume 'the plan' ?

2008-05-22T14:09:00.002+08:00

loy·al·ty –noun, plural -ties.
1.
the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations.
2.
faithful adherence to a sovereign, government, leader, cause, etc.
3.
an example or instance of faithfulness, adherence, or the like: a man with fierce loyalties.

com·mit·ment - noun.
The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons: a deep commitment to liberal policies; a profound commitment to the family.

I'm loyal but not committed. Is this a paradox?!

haven't been blogging much... not that i've nothing in mind but it's so distasteful that i've my qualms putting it down.

I hate my current state of being, little things get on my nerves recently...

want to sleep; have to work
want to scream; endure
want to cry; control
want to swear; breathe

I'm not at the best attitude or r/s at work; tk's predicament didn't earn my sympathy.
On the contrary, im losing respect.
despite the fact that i spend the least amt of time at home, my role as adhesive remains.
didn't gain much experientially from the penang trip, only a pair of jeans & heels.
guess it's freaky to see folks behaving like yourself years ago, i ended up the one giving looks of disapproval. tsk tsk tsk...

For now & as always, life is unfair. but i believe in karma.

Guess what needed to be done now is to push all thoughts behind & start cracking for revision.

14 May

2008-05-15T14:31:00.003+08:00

Once again, another year has passed. Happy Anniv girls!

ytd was supposed to be a happy day, at least it was ard evening time.

morning sky was overcast with dark clouds, like my mood was perturbed.

at least the day went well, time flies at work; no jam, well seated in buses & trains

was informed some sudden news by tkn, which more or less explained the behavior of tk lately.

only one regret was we didn't make it to claritycafe.. gggrr. die die also must make it one day

i realise we only meet on special days, or is it because there's a special day every month including post exams?! though it will no longer be valid. Lolz

Good that we have several plans ahead, bdaes n hkg trip next yr =)

my schedules are in such a whirlpool, no proper rest can be executed at all. i think im gonna sleep for revenge all the way to penang , which is highly possible. remind me to bring my travel pillow.

PS: Ppl! i want all the photos, never get a single one this yr.

PPS: all is well.

my fault?

2008-05-08T11:55:00.003+08:00

will i be responsible if both my sisters fared badly for their exams/assignments this time round?!
cos i've failed to hide the potter series properly?! haha!

Life has been rather hetic since the beginning of mth... seems like i've something on 80% of the evenings after work, with lessons as the majority.

went for the 1st session at carelyna... not too bad. Went for 2nd swimming lesson, think i learnt pretty fast, just be less kan cheong i think. was told that other ppl take 4-5 lessons to learn the breathing part?! huh?! so waste $ ar... i was thinking of clearing everything in 3-4 mths... so that i wont spend so much.

Folks away to BKK this morning... wonder what will they bring back this time?!

Going for lunch now... must keep in mind to stick to those 'safe food'. =p

PS: Why no one update their blog huh?!

end april ramblings

2008-04-29T12:26:00.003+08:00

damn... i took mc today n ytd. the pain was unbearable... dunno what shit i ate. can't be just the pineapple juice, what else can contribute to such agony?! Haiz... felt so bad. just check the co's email. there are like so many things i can do, for a change, and yet here i am at home, rolling in my bed most of the time numbing the throbbing feeling. gotta skip swimming this evening too, how sianz. might as well use the time to do some work... sigh sigh sigh... hopefully i'll feel better & luckier tmr... if not dunno how to tahan the stay-up. better update my finances, got so many things to pay recently and soon. must think of ways to earn extra $. bleh.. life.

Ramblings

2008-04-24T16:56:00.000+08:00

So i did, almost, broke my record of continuous attendance. lolz

Really feel like staying in today if not for the fact i got sch later. Didn't sleep well for the past few nights.
Gosh... once i even dreamt that i failed my wbp module with 26%! Exams is in July lor... im going insane. I wasn't even paying as much attention as i did last yr, y such morbid dreams?! probably a wake-up call to get my butt into momentum issit?!

i have 101 things to do and the last thing is to sit inside the office and stared blankly into the screen, like now. I could run so plenty of errands if not of that i've to put my butt in here for livelihood. haiz... ...

one more day to Friday...

cant wait to see the gals on wed...

TGIF

2008-04-24T16:38:00.001+08:00

this entry was in 'draft' status since 11April, long forgetten.

woke up with a great reluctance to work. dark clouds, heavy rain... perfect to sleep in.

decided not to for fear incur mum's wrath. plus i've had a good record this year, not to mention the 2wks MC. hence, i braved the exhaution, numbness, big downpour to 'aquarium' to find that there's nothing to do! couple of pathetic faxes, emails, request & that's all?! I finish it all in less than 2hrs...

should have go with my instinct... arghhh

was abt to play 'match it' with ting when tkn walked in, sianzzz. she left 1/2hr later, dunno why she bother to come in the 1st place. there's 3more hrs to go still... bored bored bored bored bored... i've been reading bk 4 for the 2nd time since lunch... having this immense urge to leave the office to go cut my hair. though rebonding is what i need now but lacking the moolahs.

overspend recently, since after exams when my wallet was collecting dust. can u believe if i tell u i can go through days without reaching for my wallet?!

from jamie's trackshoes, heels for myself, day out with qi & min to amk hub = untraceable money gone that day, bills, pedi cpak, not to mention school fees in may n the swimming lesson fee next wk, a package planning to take plus the penang trip... blah blah blah...

limitless stuffs.. limited moolahs...

On a happier note... Minmin won silver for her 200m & bronze for 4x100m relay in her sch's sports' day. So happy for her... not to mention the time (brought her to the stadium last sat for practice) & effort ($29.90 track shoe, the one i wore is only $12.90) spent.

mum was so elated that she called me straight after the run, commentating the race for me. can really feel the excitedness from her tone. seems that min, last runner for her team, manage to overtake 2 runners to take the 3rd placing.

Can sense that mum is really happy also. was complaining she never turned up for any sch events during qi & mine's era. But cant really blame, both of us never ran though we both got trophies for field events not held on actual day.

Gosh...

2008-04-21T17:11:00.002+08:00

Erm.. i just tag something i wasnt even sure if i shld.. what's done is done. just hope it is untraceable.. urphs

Qi is coming back for good this week after 6mths in hall9 with the occassional returns.... means I got nowhere to go if i want to read my novel to the middle of the night.

it's amazing that disengagement seems easier than engagement. I'm used to her popping ard for few days a week nia that i wonder how i or we gonna cope... maybe she'll be surprised that how little time i'm at home on weekdays. No thanks to the aquarium at far far away land & sch on evenings. Guess there's gonna be the usual disagreements of household chores delegation, the 'taking-in-hand" of Min, the toliet timetable etc...

Probably most important of all, is to keep my temper in check. Must stop the habit of nagging everyone before i morphed into a bossy bitch.. lolz.

MSN

2008-04-18T16:19:00.002+08:00

Here i am sitting down after a hetic morning.. gotta shift all the furnitures to repalce the flooring mat which was soaked with fish water from next door's fish tank. arms aching sia..

L told me this is her fav website = site that she put in the fav list. Lolz.. so i tot i better update a bit... haha

Sometimes when i'm really Really REALLY bored at work, which is most of the times, I'm glad that friends and sisters are ard to chat with him, making time more bearable for me.

Sometimes i really regret tt i taught minmin how to msn.. especially when im busy.
her typing speed is one thing, her expression is another. Sometimes i tot im talking to some ang moh kia - AMK

Sometimes i ran out of topics with her... always the usual asking abt sch, hw, mum n swimming...
makes me wonder if im over-extending control over her.. it wasn't long b4 i realise my worries are unfounded. she master the skill of pacifying me...

This few weeks i woke up not to the alarm clock or the sunlight or naturally... but to the screaming of mum at her..

wake up.. learn ur spelling. today got spelling u last night never learn

your compo is disgusting.. re-do
corrections not done
jia, wake up
pencil box not in sch bag
comb ur hair
jia, wake up
change ur clothes
keep the books
jia, wake up
hurry eat ur breakfast
etc,etc.

imagine the shock i woke up to... sigh.

anyway... dear leng is finally starting a blog.. still in the midst of doing while im writing here
(cheenafied.wordpress.com - the 2 of u, pls help her with this, i dun use wordpress & she really got zero knowledge. "need to pay?" was the qn i'll never forget, =p)

P/s: She is quite enthusiatic abt us 4 going for a short trip next yr for our 10th anniv - HKG/Macau

Jun calling for a night out if I didn't see her comments wrongly.. (sleeping at 330hr makes ur eyes blurry n watery..)

Ting is stuck with work n exam on the 28th n probably her infatutation with Fernández Torres n maybe leng's oscar. Maybe we shld meet w/o her 1st? haha

as for me... the ever-procrastintor is finally going for her swimming lessons! getting jittery though.... images of me in that wacky swim wear... glurpppp

will try to update soon..

TGIF =)

The Other Boleyn Girl

2008-04-10T13:00:00.002+08:00

I rarely watch movies, but this is a MUST for me. The last show that I die die must watch was "The Prestige" , yeah Scarlett Johansson again. maybe is the hunks effect, Eric Bana Christian Bale or Hugh Jackman. LOLZ. I was thinking no kaki also must go watch alone. But heng ting can acc me go watch this. we 2 really got telepathy, 受不了... YY dun be jealous ok?! haha.

Based on the best selling novel by Philippa Gregory, "The Other Boleyn Girl" is an engrossing and sensual tale of intrigue, romance, and betrayal set against the backdrop of a defining moment in history. Two sisters, Anne (Natalie Portman) and Mary (Scarlett Johansson) Boleyn, are driven by their ambitious father and uncle to advance the family's power and status by courting the affections of the King of England (Eric Bana). Leaving behind the simplicity of country life, the girls are thrust into the dangerous and thrilling world of court life and what began as a bid to help their family develops into a ruthless rivalry between Anne and Mary for the love of the king. Initially, Mary wins King Henry's favor and becomes his mistress, bearing him an illegitimate child. But Anne, clever, conniving, and fearless, edges aside both her sister and Henry's wife, Queen Katherine of Aragon, in her relentless pursuit of the king. Despite Mary's genuine feelings for Henry, her sister Anne has her sights set on the ultimate prize; Anne will not stop until she is Queen of England. As the Boleyn girls battle for the love of a king one driven by ambition, the other by true affection England is torn apart. Despite the dramatic consequences, the Boleyn girls ultimately find strength and loyalty in each other, and they remain forever connected by their bond as sisters.

Identity Crisis!

2008-04-04T16:44:00.003+08:00

Interestingly, i had a several encounters with sales promoter lately.

Some tot i'm a young mother in her early 20s (cos' of jamie lim lah, who else?!)
Some see me as 30+ mixed chinese-malay.. (huh?!)
Some ppl tot i'm 18 m'sia (what the...)
some tot i'm from mainland (GASPS!) is it cos i wore specs? my fluent mandarin? my hair?

There could be many other speculations unknown to me... except a 23yr old Singaporean 100% pure bloood Hokkien Chinese.

This is very horrifying, ok?!

How is a 20yr SG-ian suppose to 'look' like anyway?

Must 检讨检讨...... sux.

Post-Exam; Get a Life

2008-04-02T14:39:00.006+08:00

As always... the period after every last paper seems so empty.

in the past, there's always after-exams celebration with friends. Ask me to go out with these ppl now... i guess they are as reluctant as me cos there's always the tendency to check answers. (what the...)

I took the jurong route home, alight at yishun wanting to shop ard in northpoint. Alas! NP having a revamp... there isn't anything I can buy. There's always this STRONG URRGE to spend $$$... retail therapy yah. in the end got min a scrungee. mum yelled her head off that morning cos minmin cldn't find her hair tie. I woke up to all these screaming almost every morning. haiz... auto gear pls, Jamie.
I just recalled i just bought a pair of track shoe for min also but that wasn't satisfying leh. haiz

This is so sianzzz.... when im supposed to be studying, many to-do/to-buy stuffs keeping popping into my mind. Yet when im so free now.. i cant recall any of those.

Want to go jalan jalan... but everyone like so busy...

was thinking of a weekend trip to batam or JB this mth... no kaki. haizzzz

finding travel kaki is a very difficult task. even close friends or family might not be a good choice. this theory is tried and tested. =p if go alone, sure kenna niam. haizzzz

i really need to pick up swimming soon... at least I got something to occupy myself other than sch n work. also, wont get tease by jamie. ting aldy on me for diving liao.. so must set a timeline for this. =)

This idea is part of the self-implemented program on "Get a life, Jacq!" LOLz

sidenote: tkn's son was almost drowned in a condominium pool last week. tkn very anxiously book me for swimming lesson in june. i was almost drowned once long long time ago on a fateful day at Jurong Safra after a Chinese Garden visit but it didn't occur my folks to send for swimming lessons. Why huh?! (details were input mum when i clarified with her this memory of mine)

JacQ

2008-04-01T23:34:00.002+08:00

is freed!!! exams over =)

but lesson resumed next monday... bleh

Jacq has no life

2008-03-27T15:14:00.002+08:00

I need to break out of this routine after the last paper badly!!!

While other ppl of my age do things like:

Shopping, credit card-ing, K-ing, pooling, travelling, watch movies, go cheong, dating, K drama serial-ing, socialising, religion-ing, investing, marrying etc

Jacq goes home/sch faithfully after work... market-ing with mum during weekends or chewing readings after readings like a geek (or am one), derive cheap thrills by irritating her 9yrold sister and commit social sucide by making remarks so tat frens (those remaining) get pissed with her, with mutiple body pains/aches like a old granny and with lackadaisical attitude about image.

How great... seriously need a life.

need to recharge... running out of energy for the last 2 papers... How!!

Ridikulus

2008-03-20T23:51:00.006+08:00

is my conclusion of this world...

had this discussion with a friend over msn today...

Pure singaporeans are overwhelmed by foreign-born in our own land...
govt pay foreigners to study here & they jump ship for green card, if not bring their entire kampung here n behave like they owned the place
These 'policies' was made to sounnd right when implemented but look at it closely... something is wrong somewhere..

going further down to personal level.. i find it quite absurb when

a friend of 10 yrs who earn twice your payroll, own several credit cards (not equivalent to very rich, but higher rate of fast cashflow), travel (or try to) few times in a year, spent close to $200 on few-mth-bf's birthday, splurging on shoes & clothes sometimes, take cabs on personal errands ask you to bank transfer $30 for pedi package instalment cos her card has began deducting while she may meet you in 2 week's time?!
I'm not gek-gao-ing about the $. if u know me, u know me. i'm quite chin-cai when it comes to $ on friends. It is the attitude. cln't believe my eyes lor.

这不是三言两语就能说清我心中的纳闷，很失望。。。
也许，人类的自我中心就是那么重。我也不外吧。。。。。。
只重视对自己有直接利益的人和事。。。但是你能肯定那时对的吗？！
说到这，又不禁叹了口气。。。
做人吗。。。得失心不要看得太重，会得不偿失。

不要曲解我，我的语气是很心平气和的。我对事情的了解可能有误，也没有对或错，只是有感而发。

不是对这个世界有怨言，是这个世界让我有怨言。

email

2008-03-07T15:48:00.009+08:00

Out of nowhere, XXXXX email me this just bcoz a blur queen email him instead of me regarding some sch stuff, which i had emailed to the whole class. I was doing them a favour.

Sent: Wednesday, 5 March 2008 2:09:43
Subject: RE: FM Text - Urgent!

Jacqueline

Please go handle this thing yourself! Please reply to those who are interested.

Regards,
XXXXX

wahtever he meant, So freaking rude! If he thought I would just accept this silently, he is so wrong. After kpkb-ing to many ppl, i was finally calmed down around evening time to reply.

XXXXX,

Thanks for taking the trouble to forward those emails though I'm rather appalled by your choice of words & punctuation mark.
It doesn't reflect very well on you really and I'm rather surprised that you actually cc everyone this.
People do get confused sometimes, you have to be a bit more forgiving than this.
You also have to understand that it is beyond my control to whether they click "reply all" or "reply GLENN".
Regrettably, this mail will take up some capacity of your inbox.

PS: I cc everyne this cos' I believe they need and will be interested to know the class rep's fastidious email preference.

To everyone else:

Hi all! Please check your 'send to' list carefully next time. Thank you very much. =)
Refrain from emailing irrelevant stuff to Glenn, unless otherwise absolutely necessary. He seems to get pretty upset over it.

Best regards,

Jacq (",)

His reply:

Jac
Whatever that please you, i have no comment. Great choice of words and nice font size you using. I could not have done better.

Regards
XXXXX
sent from mobile device

Seriously, I didn't expect him to reply. Didn't he just commented?! haha!
What was interesting was the replies from other ppl who sense the 'fire' from our exchange, as they were all CC. A few (girls) sms me before i replied which more or less summed up to - "wahlau Jacq, u saw tt email?! Shoot him back"

A few others (guys) replied after my reply, " Relax. Maybe some misunderstanding. we going to be classmates for 2yrs. never mind lah"

Seems like some gender war. As trival as this seems to be now, it was a different story at that moment in time.

1stly, I aldy buay-song with him for quite some time. His overly high profileness which he eagerly seeks and the way he kept disrupting the lesson momentum, I tolerated. I had actually shunned him to avoid direct conflict.
(What must happen, will happen i guess. at least in a milder form)

2ndly, it was only ONE mis-mailed. Must he get so worked up?! He sounded like the whole world owes him or I've been burdening him. hello, even my bosses (past & present) don't snap at me like that.

3rdly, he abused his position as a class rep to flood everyone's email with irrelevant stuff, which he tot was a friendly gesture. Nobody complain.

I believe he has the capability to express his thoughts in a nicer manner, if not he badly need to attend some email writing etiquette class.

he thought that was worse, my 1st draft was even more nasty & i can go on & on. Words like dumbass, harebrained, wimp, loser & !@#$% kept flashing in my mind.

N remarked that 你很厉害leh，他1句，你顶这么多！I find it quite hilarious after that actually.

Lesson learnt: 老虎不发威，你当我是病猫！ I kept quiet in class doesn't mean I'm mute, ok!

Like every other, there's always both sides to a story. I don't denied that I acted upon the situation on impulse & very subjectively, but i felt that something has to be done to set the record straight. Stubborn, some may called this. I regard this as an femininity element from IJ times. U never know, Mag Low & Jo Teo might be proud of this. Haha!

postscript: I didn't really take this to heart after venting out, as usual, write & forget.
He, on the other hand, was so childish that he actually sms my sitting partner when we were in the same classroom, 1 table apart. Goodness lor... he is ard 30yrs.

It is my character flaw that I do not hesitate when it comes to any social sucide. Nothing to lose, nothing to gain, i think. You either hate me or love me =p

白老师

2008-02-29T17:02:00.004+08:00

[warning... very long entry, read only when u're bored like when i wrote this =p]

I find this conv btwn couz & me quite interesting . She is chinese teacher...

JacQ says:
ask u something. how to 敷衍了事 in formal letter
白老师@Maris says:
depends on what is it that U want to 敷衍了事
白老师@Maris says:
what is it about?
JacQ says:
anyway someone suggest i was trying to 敷衍了事
JacQ says:
by throwing a 72pg doc to her w/o explanation
JacQ says:
in fact any old bird will understand what to do
JacQ says:
she tot I was throwing the ball ard n trying to blame her for the bottleneck
白老师@Maris says:
U refering to school report or to your boss?
白老师@Maris says:
who is "she"?
JacQ says:
customer side exec
白老师@Maris says:
hmm...
白老师@Maris says:
U need to get it done now?
JacQ says:
nope
JacQ says:
i a bit buay song.. so tot need ur help in the sarcasm part..
JacQ says:
ar
白老师@Maris says:
wahaha
白老师@Maris says:
1st, i need to know what is gg on
白老师@Maris says:
i might be able to leave sch early tdy
白老师@Maris says:
if u want
白老师@Maris says:
i can call u later
白老师@Maris says:
or u email me to gimme more details
JacQ says:
.. no need so kua zhang lah
JacQ says:
just a line to shoot her
JacQ says:
think she be speechless
cannot offend them as they r the customer
JacQ says:
mindef ppl..
白老师@Maris says:
but what exactly happened?
白老师@Maris says:
what constitutes that 72page doc?
白老师@Maris says:
and what went wrong?
白老师@Maris says:
what are U supposed to do now?
JacQ says:
blah blah blah... (not impt details)
JacQ says:
which is quite wrong lah
JacQ says:
but she dun have to insinuate tt we were trying to shift responibilities
JacQ says:
ing we r pointing finger at them when we r in the wrong
JacQ says:
i thnk she got put off by the 72pages..ignore then now panic cos FY ending
JacQ says:
must clear the
JacQ says:
so i need a bombastic one liner to shoot her
白老师@Maris says:
1 liner?
白老师@Maris says:
erm
白老师@Maris says:
i'm the long-winded type leh
白老师@Maris says:
must give her a piece of my mind & flood her with my saliva
白老师@Maris says:
if i were u
白老师@Maris says:
but 1st of all
白老师@Maris says:
are u gg 2 give in to what they want?
白老师@Maris says:
as in replace the "wrong" order or smthg?
JacQ says:
no lah.. they order wrongly. just telling them if they want tt component they got to re-order
白老师@Maris says:
ok
白老师@Maris says:
since that's the case
白老师@Maris says:
did u submit a soft copy or hard copy of the report?
JacQ says:
soft
白老师@Maris says:
what i would do it is
白老师@Maris says:
i will highlight the part in the report
白老师@Maris says:
from the email that was sent out to them
白老师@Maris says:
reply from that particular email
白老师@Maris says:
and shoot:
白老师@Maris says:
Dear XXX,
白老师@Maris says:
As per our phone conversation
白老师@Maris says:
Pls refer to the XX report sent on (date)
白老师@Maris says:
Page XX
白老师@Maris says:
Section XX
白老师@Maris says:
Line XX
白老师@Maris says:
(in highlight)
白老师@Maris says:
The report/document clearly indicates that your order as being 'f' instead of 'e'
白老师@Maris says:
as such, we have sent of the order as per quotation/order request (or whatever terminology that you use)
白老师@Maris says:
in the event that you would like to replace the component for 'f'
白老师@Maris says:
kindly resend a quotation order form
白老师@Maris says:
best regards,
白老师@Maris says:
How is that?
JacQ says:
how to put in the part im not 敷衍了事 in the first palce
白老师@Maris says:
did she imply over the fone that U 敷衍了事?
白老师@Maris says:
given that this is a formal letter there's no need to get personal or emotional
白老师@Maris says:
pointing fingers here and there
白老师@Maris says:
U have produced black & white evidence
白老师@Maris says:
she cannot argue
白老师@Maris says:
yeh?
JacQ says:
guess she uses phone so it will be off record
JacQ says:
darn
JacQ says:
okie thanks a lot!

See how systematic & thorough she is & how she ended up solving my qn without answering it & indirectly did my work.

See... i think the formal KPKB letter writing skills resides in the genes... she is the pro though.. Hahaha!

Hyped...

2008-02-29T11:14:00.005+08:00

There has been too much going-ons recently... so much tt i can't focus.
(i reached office at 930am today, bad headache kept me awake till wee hrs last night)

Probably the lack of discipline and/or determination, my mind is utterly in confusion now.

Qi pens her/our excitement clearly and interestingly.

As for me, it was a moment of outsourcing, then P&G's resource & capability, then panicking on FM then sudden realisation ACG is still untouch with random flashes of Harry Potter scenes in my mind (Darn... I'm a late bloomer, yah. I watch Titantic 3yrs after the jack & rose fever) while drifiting away to sequencing the layout for the house.

As mentioned, I'm so screwed this sem!!!

Saw this extremely spolit & RUDE girl. About 7-8yrs, dress in ah-lian pink & accompanied by her mum i suppose (ah-soh in her 40s) & another sister in the MRT last night . She was whining the moment she entered in Novena station, grumbling to her mother.

girl: 我要坐！我要坐！我很累！
the mother: 跟那些人说，叫他们给你坐！
[i was aldy rolling my eyes at this point. 给你坐?! 你老几?]
girl (pointing to an old hunching uncle): 他, 可以吗？
the mother: 不可以！他是老uncle
girl (turned to the lady beside & with fingers stretched outright at her): 你！给我做！

the lady just glared at her and promptly ignored her request, i would have do the same.
There were abt 8ppl who alighted at the next stop but no one wanted to stand up till the train reached, very obvious what was in their mind.

I havent got a chance to tell min this. If she behaves like tt, i probably turn her upside down n whacked. There's this yet another spoilt brat girl in one of the CH8 drama serials. I warned min of she dared to be so rude, in fact she is getting very bo tua bo shuy recently, she will get it from me. She reacts very adversly to cane/scratcher & pep-talk requires certain skills to make it not like nagging.
I can't believe this ok... rebellious stage at 9yrs?! i was still tuk tuk stupid stupid, reading Famous Five, struggling with spectacles when i was 9yrs ok!

At least, can still threaten her with swimming lessons as a last resort.
(Shit! sounds like Bree van de Kamp in Desperate Housewives)

Ok.. gotta stop. Not going to turn this entry into some parental column.

Sidetrack: I finally found the answer to my weird personality. I've prolonged/extended PMS!!!
That explains why i'm always so touchy, only showing tolerance to people whom I think deserved it.
Mood swings is one of the symptons also, easily sulky easily turned light hearted.

I was quite happy when i managed to find a shop selling good quality sandwich, with lots of veges & tasty ingredients for $2/-
There r many bakeries selling those pathetic sandwich with miserable amount of tuna & planta butter for $1.50 which I kinda mad about.

I going back again for sure =)

Mugging...

2008-02-24T21:23:00.000+08:00

I spend close to 8hrs in front of the PC ytd, with the ocassion drifiting out.

Managed to complete 3 econs essay.. which i tot was quite a feat.
Could have done more but i spend my entire saturday reading harry potter... heee

as compared to last sem or even last year itself.. i'm actually quite late in starting revison

O well... not excuses but i simple have no mood to activate my gear after those sloppy lectures, xmas, nye, bday, cny & mc...

This sem:
Focus on MMS & EI cos there's no re-module.
Moderate focus on ACG
Try to do something about understanding FM... this is sucky.
I just have no chemistry with Finance stuff. Kill me...

Can't wait for 1st Apr to come (last paper)

Boo

2008-02-15T17:09:00.002+08:00

Ok... pox life is officially over along with CNY. Nothing happening.

Work was breeze... wat was accumulated for 2 weeks was easily cleared in 2hrs, talk about efficiency... hah!

Sch was tough... getting panic. Felt so stress at econs class (1st day back)last night... i tot i will just drop dead there. Had to struggle home with those thick study guides... ( man.. regreted buying the TB. My impulse buying always turn out to be mistake.)

Train was filled with roses, bears, chocolates, PDA-ing couples who hogged the seats. duh...

I could do with extra time & probably another brain.

6 more weeks to this disastrous mth.

20 more mths to this disgusting cycle.

Look forward to next fri where suaku lim is taking her virgin trip to vivocity after talking for 16mths.

Water

2008-02-01T12:01:00.000+08:00

No matter how busy one is, always remember to drink lotsa water!!!
My failure to do that last weekend trigger the 'heatiness' to the extreme.

After 3 days of fever & pain, finally i can talk like a normal person.

Last few days was insane. Bulk of the pox was on my scalp & face (horrendous!!!) It was swelling so badly that i couldn't even blink my eyes w/o feeling pain. haizzz...
Still feverish.. (which is common).. right eyes redish (i dunno why) but most of the milder pox have subsided, mainly n hands and arms.

But hor, those serious one are those on strategic areas like wrist lah, around the bra strap area (keep pressing on it), lips lah (cant even eat properly) & the nose!!! (i cant even clear the insides, sux)

Since it is 'heatiness', mum has been making me drinks to 'cool down' like white chrysenthemum & corn water (yes, water not soup. is corn & outer leaves boil in water)

But hor, because my body is very 'yin' itself, all this cooling drink is giving me a sore throat right now. haiz... stupid body.

I've accidentedly poke 3 pox on my face.. dunno will leave scars or not. I've plastered my face with Hazeline Snow Cream... hope it can help.

Ok.. back to mugging. I tot i better clear the finished modules 1st then settle the new ones. This sem is really 靠自己！ I need to make a trip to bras basah when i've recover, hope it's not too late.
All the textbooks are in LCK library ref side, sickening!!!

This is not a good start to new year... hopefully is just the end.

Sidenote: Jun dear, thanks for picking my text! =)

Varicella Virus

2008-01-30T15:23:00.000+08:00

Great... at age 23yrs 14 days, i got myself into this. Feel embarrassed even by mere mention.

The varicella virus is an enveloped, double-stranded DNA virus. It attaches to the wall of the cell it invades, and then enters the cell. The virus uncoats and is transported to the nucleus where the viral DNA replicates creating new virions that are eventually released from the cell to infect other cells. it is a highly contagious viral infection.

Got a 2 weeks MC, get mixed reaction.

Boss is very seh cos no 1 station in office. Mum is happy cos she got helper at home.

I is happy no need to work but not happy cos i cant go to school.

They dun have video lecture for part timers... this is very frustrating. Gonna email the coordinator... bleh.

No need to check search engine lah... it is chicken pox lah. =_='''

Reply to sq47

2008-01-23T12:33:00.000+08:00

Wanted to tag back but got a bit fed up with the words limit. ( i got issues with too many short forms in a sentence)

I read my entry after seeing what u've tagged. I usually don't read what I've posted cos it'll be like checking homework after completion like that.

to Minmin: In case you are reading this, you HAVE to check all your school work when you have finished
(o yes, my 9 yr old sister reads our blogs and translates it to our mum, reason for the asterisks)

I didn't realise it was quite a long entry, haha!

I take that as a complement since BM is my blogosphere idol. hee =)

Ting: your one sentence triggers such ''intellectual'' thoughts out from me leh, haha!

Slacker than life...

2008-01-22T13:47:00.000+08:00

It's Martin Luther King's Day. Dunno what is that, just that is a USA PH and I'm once again, slacking at work.

Ting was saying how she realised much time was lost due to poor planning after CV writing.

It leads me to some pondering while i was shiting (hah!)

How much time i've wasted and am wasting now...

Headhunter lecturer once said that for local uni grads, companies will see their results & how they carry themselves during interviews, professional experiences are not expected since, after all they study full time.

Whereas for part-timers like us, a degree is only to place us on equal playing field. If we r expecting to get a better job after the course, we r being too idealistic. In the end, it's the RELATED (i.e)working experiences that score high for us.

Half the class, including me, murmured a "O shit!".

Looking back at myself, ( i know we can't turn back time but still..)

I spent 8 months landing myself into one deep shit, 18mths wallowing in self denial, 20mths hiding in aquarium while getting paid and having intellectual deterioration at the same time.
as such, it doesn't really value add much.

Interest in sch has faded to a large extent this sem in the midst of the ongoing festivals and so is the confidence to score.

Am i being positively negative or negatively positive? Shrugzzz

Had plenty of plans in my mind which are basically as good as daydreams as long as there r not executions. Surf the career portals once in a while when im having withdrawal symptons. Jobs available are either too difficult for me or I'm too difficult for them, which leads me to contemplate escape elsewhere on earth that is even harder given my pathetic qualifications.

Things get so depressing sometimes that I wished i've went for nursing course instead. Hah!

Sometimes i hate what i have become - a frog-in-the-well kind of coward hiding in too much of a comfort zone, living life as it is, 得过且过，敷衍塞责，close to 吊儿郎当 even, shunning responsibilities, getting naggy (this cld be the onset of spinster-hood, haha!) and with personal goals of eat, shit, sleep and s** (I'm joking about this one, hah!)

Maybe that's the reason for escapade though everyone knows escaping is not the best route to solutions, but how many people really do what they say. Shrugzzz..

Don't worry, im not 胡思乱想-ing. This is a realistic self-reflection with no solution yet.
How come there isn't an "operating manual" accompanied with my birth, telling me what to do. It'll make things so much easier. I'm so screwed.

What to do, what to do?
Maybe i can start by being punctual to work again?! hurhur...

thinking of going Macau in april...no $$$

14th Jan

2008-01-15T00:10:00.000+08:00

This day would have been entirely meaningless if not for these people

Not forgetting my cute sisters, mum & dad.

Thanks people!

Not forgetting couz S for the sms & OCBC ATM who wished me too when i drew $, Haha!

Met Jun at the bus stop just now.. who asked what did i do on my birthday.

- I pon work again (even ting knows i didn't go to work coz i wasn't online =p)

-Slept till 12noon

-Went to 'search' for min

-Do tutorials

-Experimenting my bday present... er.. No flair so need some time to get the hang of it. Hmm.. need to get styling gel/oil for this also.

-Went for lessons

= Peaceful but Utterly wasted day.

To think that last year i tot to myself i could do with a getaway on this day.. all ruined by the lessons. Haiz... as what couz S said, still got many more years to come.

PS: Dunno why i cannot load the video. *shrugz*

Party!

2008-01-09T15:48:00.000+08:00

Details as follows

Date: 13th Jan 08

Venue: Lim's Residence

Time: Dinner time.

Activity: Mahjong with Capital M(oney) !hah! (I'll do something to my pathetic mahjong table to make it presentable)

Dress Code: As casual as possible as I'm not dressing up. Polo Tee is allowed =)

Bring: Sufficient CASH ($$$) as Birthday Girl will be on LUCKY STREAK =)

Partner is not required as we got the numbers for mahjong. Hee =)

PS: We can open that sparkling Juice from 1st Jan & the volka i got from DFS =)

thank you belly muchie

2008-01-07T16:59:00.000+08:00

That's how my cousin signed off in his email when he forward me his ROM photos.

It just strucked me I havent started on consolidating my taiwan trip photos, not to mention to even WRITE something on it?!!! Ops!

It's difficult to get stuck on a writing mood when there seems endless stuff to do.

Work 5 days a week with the 180mins bus ride

3 evenings for lessons a week

CNY in a mth's time. CNY is quite a huge affair in my house, though it has tone down a little over the years. Like the seventh mth, my folks will keep themselves busy with those hungry stomachs.

Anyway, before that we have Yours Truly 23rd 小寿.
It was decided moments earlier with Ting on Msn. I
just called Mum & she has the menu more or less figured out immediately. SuperB!

My Lady Boss also mentioned something about Japanese Restaurant but with DDK also who has the same birthday, unfortunately to me.

All this in the midst of 4 lessons on 10th, 11th, 14th & 15th.

After this, I'll try to get on with my photo blog. I promised.

Hello Moto!

2007-12-31T19:00:00.000+08:00

Yesh! A new phone for new year. Motorola RAZR2 V9 in Mahogany =)

I'm havent been able to shift my ass to start on the Taiwan Trip entries. I see that Ting has started.

Too much things on my mind since the return, including the distractions from above.

Lessons, tutorials, work stuff, family events, etc... Simply no time. Plus I've yet to recover from the clubbing on Xmas in Taipei. Still feeling lethargic from that 1 night lack of sleep. Seriously cannot make it.

I'll try to get to this, at least with the photos i hope.

To end this year with a right note:

Hope 2007 has been GREAT for u all. Even if not, it's ok coz is gonna to be over in 5hrs time.

May 2008 be FANTASTICALLY TERRIFIC for all!!!

HAppY NeW YeaR!!!

Home =)

2007-12-26T16:11:00.000+08:00

6 days, 5 cities, 4 hotels, 3 in a room, 2 luggages, 1 Taiwan

I'm back!

mobile no batt, camera no batt, person also no batt.

Will post travel entries soon once this crazy week is over.

Finally...

2007-12-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

The long sought after holiday is finally realised!!!

Leaving for taiwan in 12hrs.

Will be back on Xmas.

Cheers =)

空

2007-12-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

突然间，感觉有点莫名的空虚。

应该是最近看太多，听太多，知太多，想太多。。。

为什么我越不想让世人的定义主导我的生活，这种种却不停在我身边打转着，困扰我，混淆我

都不知道自己到底要的是什么。本来不以为然，现在却有点紧张。

好累哟。。。

is a need or desperation? shrugz...

Nostalgic

2007-12-16T17:50:00.000+08:00

It's the end of the year! A period of mixed happiness & faint nostalgia...

I think i've more or less achieved 60% of my new resolution, other than the work hard at work i think?! Hah!

Met up with the girls last thurs for Jun's b-day. What an 'accidental' evening! Gosh... wasted wine.
Anyway, it's been a while since we all gather & talk to our heart's content! Since mid-autumn i think.

It's amazing how the topic changes as years went by.

From gossips in schs, teachers & high profile kids to cute guys to hellish college life to clubbings, alcohol, kisses, sex to marriages, it's so freaking long ain't it?! Hah!
All there at every phase of life...
It's so incredulous to have a bunch of close friends & grow up together, seeing how one another
change over the years, a ear to listen and a voice to keep one on track although advices aren't heeded everytime. ( i'm guilty of that i know)

More laughter, more tears,
More reasons, more cheers,
More everything, in all the ways, you are

All of us are in such different stages of life right now and it's gonna be even diverted in future.
Yet i always said, We r stuck for life - for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us apart.
(sounds familar?! haha!)

Advanced Merry X'mas!

Countdown to Taiwan: 4 days!

Raining

2007-12-10T16:04:00.000+08:00

It's been raining for the past week, monsoon i guess.

I've a love & hate affair with cold weather.

The cooling weather is nice to sleep, no sticky feeling from perspirations.

BUT I feel hungry all the time in times like this and headache from the struggle to stay awake. Damn!

Here i am in a air-conditioned office in a cool rainy afternoon alone, with a tinge of emptiness in my stomach!

Gosh... plus the pathetic lunch i had. Haizzzzz...

I've been having the same thing for lunch since last week - sticky brown rice porridge with some veges.

it taste not bad but if you eat it too frequently, it gets very bland and gross. Almost similar to the pathetic gruel hat Oilver Twist had, i think; only difference is this brown rice cos a freaking costs $4/kg. (FYI - normal white rice is around $1.20 - $2.oo per kg)

Thankfully, ever since Siti know that the brown rice expensive . She tot she is doing her boss a great favour by scrimping on my portion, from 5/6 of a tingkat to today's barely 1/3.

I should be grateful since i have less of grostesque food but I don't feel good having to starve like this. Sounds conflicitng i know.... haiz..

It's a totally different story at home.

Same thing, raining whole day but I get yummilicious food whole day long. O man... i'm getting homesick. Hah!

I got a new bolster recently, so nice to sleep.

One minus point is I can't wake up in time during weekdays!!!

Haha!

Countdown to Taiwan: 10 days =)

Be glad that I'm still here

2007-12-07T14:02:00.000+08:00

Almost got knocked down by a car ytd, not once but twice.

The first occurence happen after work when i wanted to take 65 to Bras Basah to meet ''India Mama, A".
It was my fault lah. I cut at the front of a bus just as it was taking off.
Guess i was too sleepy n gong gong hence affect my 'jay-walk' judgement.
Got reprimand by the bus driver, no choice, it was indeed my fault. Almost got him into trouble.

At the moment, i didn't sense anything. It was when i sit down, think back before fear gripped me. Kinda freaked out. Wanted to tell somebody but dunno who to call, didn't want to explain also. Scary.

2nd time was on my way home. Was crossing the road near the petrol station when this Ah Sia Kid suddenly swerve in. I was only 5cm away. Any nearer, you wont see this entry today. He didn't honk me, so i assume he has a larger portion of fault. hah!

Anyway, met Alpa ytd at Bras Basah. Despite knowing tt i was within proximity to hard core town, i wore rugged jeans n polo tee, praying hard tt we wont walk to any atas area.

Unsurprisingly, she mentioned something like, "The next time we meet, NO polo tee please"

I replied, "U're not the 1st person who told me this, hah! I'm serious!"

During the 2hrs we met up, the topic keep evolving ard me even though i tried very hard to change subject. Basically, the gist is
- Don't be so reserved
- Go out more n make new friends
- Find a boyfriend
- Dress up n Be confident

She wasn't being bossy, purely being concern coz I've been single for as long as she knows me.

I told her i was waiting for men to drop from the sky but kanna shoot back.

" U must at least go out under the sky right? " Alamak

=_='''

I've encountering such topic recently. From relatives at family gathering, to friends & even the neighbourhood aunties of mum's network & even my lady boss. Haizzzz, oh my gosh!

Like how to tell them I'm not the picky one. I don't even have the options to choose in the first place! Hah!
For a moment, i almost tot being single is a freak. haha!

Seriously speaking, from what i've seen all these years.
I rather be alone than get myself into a full load of unnecessary/obligatory problems & troubles, espcially those resulted from desperate implusion..

Aiya, let nature take its course lah. What is meant to be, will be.

At least, I'm still alive n kicking right?! =)

Back!

2007-12-01T23:05:00.000+08:00

I'm back after taking a hiatus, from blogging that is.

PC down... Exams... off from work. Simply no opportunity to get online, well turns out to be an advantage at least i can focus on studying.

Set up the old 56k Dial up for temporaily measure; was so disgusting slow + pkus the irritaing modem noise. I flew to get a new graphic card this morning so that we can get the 'fast' PC working.

Doubt I'll do as good as previous semester this time round, 4 papers spread over 2 weeks - TOO Freaking Draggy. I prefer to finish up everything in a continuous flow. 长痛不如短痛.

Studying at the library is quite an costly affair. I shall commence such routine when nearer the exam period next semester.

So many things to buy; so many things to do = increased expenditure

Cut hair, see a sinseh for my sprained feet, do pedi; get Jun's bday pressie; all toiletries (y do they all run out at the same time?); travel preparations (exchange $, etc); divorce my problematic mobile.

Getting pay on monday. I wonder if i have 13th month this year, but most probably wont be much. Since i already exceeded my off days by 5 days. =(

Collected air tix this afternoon wth Ting. So excited! 20th Dec.

Watched Lust; Cautious after that with her friend & dinner @ Sakae.

Should i dye my hair for a more refreshed look?

Sigh... I need a good rest before i can organised my thoughts properly.

To Jun: Have a Good Trip! Seeya soon =)

Die!!!

2007-11-16T17:09:00.000+08:00

Just to drop a note to indicate my presence.

No time to update.

Will be bogged down by exams, exams, exams and exams till 30th Nov.

Daydreaming n dozing off all day long when i'm supposed to STUDY, STUDY, STUDY!!!

4 days left only to 1st paper... very jiat lat this sem... i'm so screwed. Haiz...

Good Luck to myself & to all in such dire situation as me.

BooBoo

2007-11-12T11:10:00.000+08:00

Alright... i made a boo in the XX/XY in the previous post.

Yeah.. laugh as much as you want, Qi.

So freaking embarrrassing.

I acutally seek Jamie's clarification.

Me: Female is XX or XY
Jamie (frowning, giving that ''is that a trick question?'' look): erm.. XX?!
Me: Great =_='''

So freaking embarrrassing. Haiz......

To jun: it's very hard to explain leh.

Freaking out

2007-11-09T13:35:00.000+08:00

Mum teased us with a 'bluff' on sunday.

Qi's reaction was 真的啊！

My reaction was eyes widen & gasps "Luggage!!!"

Nope, she didn't say we are going for vacation.

She said, " I'm pregnant." in a mischievous tone.

Nope, it is not confirm yet. She suspecting because she missed her period which are usually accurate & she got similar symptons like when she was having Jamie.

Dad is hoping that it might be just MENOPAUSE. He don't want to be laughed at again. Hah!
Judging from his stamina now, it is highly possible that any foetus will be XY XX and not XX XY.
I'm not sexist/prejudiced or what. Come on lah, i'm a XYXX too. Simply 够了吧？！All daughters leh.. he not sianz i sianz. Plus there will be evil relatives to make us a laughing stock, 茶余饭后的话家常。

Somemore Qi still went to say "wah, got to take care '妹妹' again ar!" Diaozzz.. like so excited like tt. I was more optimistic. I say we can name this 思维（尾）meaning last one. hahaha! Mum was saying can name 四拜 or 失败. Hahaha... funny Mother.

Anyway, nothing is confirmed yet. Need another month or so before we can check.

Jamie's reaction was the calmest & rationale. "Huh?! 你跟爸爸还有meh?! 这么老了还有ar? "

还有什么？我不知道。。。i think the Encyclopedia is doing her TOO good. I didn't even want to think FAR! Diaoz...

Sidenote: My exclamation of "Luggage!' means i want to 离家出走。In case you 're wondering what's the link.

Meet-Up

2007-11-09T13:13:00.000+08:00

Last night's meet-up was very bizzare... not sure if this is an appropriate word but somehow it's just so weird & not the usual.

We met, eat, chit-chat a bit & left. period.

I reached home ard 9. Strangely early.

I came to realise as i was on my bed while waiting Uncle Zhou to start the chess game.

I inititated the gathering cos i realised we wont have much time soon. Exams & holidays, our schedules are back to back with each other. The next available period will be the 2nd week of Dec, for darling Jun's bday.

To Jun: Start thinking what you want after you've more or less cleared ur stuff.

Probably cos there's a new 'member' at the table, nobody really know what to say to him. There was an exchange of lame jokes instead, mine was extremely cold joke.

Quoted from YY after dinner, " I think think think very long, still dunno what to say to him"

I find this sentence quite funny. Hah!

Anyway, i really think i lack social skill. Bump into Brian from AJCSB. Other than saying 'what r you doing here?!" in an extremly alarmed tone. The rest of the conversation was lost in mumbles and rumbles. Hurhur... so lousy. *haiz*

Countdown to exams: 11days.
I don't feel prepared at all. I think this sem is gonna to so screwed.

Updates...

2007-11-05T14:24:00.000+08:00

Decided to update a bit before ppl come knocking again. Hah!

Nothing much happen after the last entry. Even if it did, I can't remember.

Basically, an interesting & bizzare day out with Ting on sat. We went 四马路观音庙拜拜 before heading to central library.
The bizzare part - I saw "JacQ is online" via her msn! Weird right? I called Jamie who denied of using the pc at that moment. Even though she manage to decipher my password n log in to windows, my msn is of a different password leh.
I haven't figure out what exactly happen cos the stupid PC refused to boot up when i attempted.

The interesting part - 2 local, born, bred & educated singaporeans, were stranded in BUGIS! Unbelieveable! It took us some time & much more effort walking around trying to locate bus 851 stop. Finally we 'found' it behind the library. After waiting close to 30mins with no 851 in sight, we end up taking 133 to AMK & cab home.
Don't ask why we didn't take the train. At that point in time, the MRT seem so FAR FAR away.
Anyway, end of episode.
1 definite conclusion came out of this. We 2 can't join Amazing Race. Hah!

We tried to think of places when we can go for the gathering this Thursday but to no avail.
The theme is more or less 煮炒 but where?

Another strange thing is my period. It came for only a day & it was more like excessive discharge. Mum mentioned it sounds like implantation bleeding, haha! I gave a the 'diao' look.
I told it can only happen if I'm a hermaphrodite & I impregnate myself. haha!

Probably too stress from the studying recently. My body staging a rebel. Not to mentioned i took MC on thursday. Partly cos my back was aching badly, partly cos i was feeling lazy to go work also. =p Sigh...

Let Nov flies as fast as Oct, exams be gone soon & Taiwan faster reach!!!

Nerdy Marathon Statistics

2007-10-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

I
-just reached home 3 hrs ago
-after spending 8hrs in Woodlands library
- 16hrs at Irene's place (overnight)

Spend
- $8.00 on Botak Jones Burger set with chao sern coleslaw
- $4.70 on Mac's sausage mcmuffin with egg
-$3.50 on yong tau foo soup

Completed
-5 management essay
-2 operations essay
-1 econs essay
-2 readings
-photocopy notes

Queasy stomach whole day... must be the coleslaw we tabao back.

Felt so POWER! then Exhaustion creeps in, feel like a candle burning on 2 ends; So Nerdy...

Exams 20 odd days away... Last lap this year, Jia You!

Oh shit, need to pay sch fees again.

Capricorn Today:
Take care not to take on too much today, dear Capricorn. Your intentions are certainly good and your motivation pure, but even you are limited by the fact that there are a mere 24 hours in a day. Pick and choose your commitments carefully today to ensure that you can actually do what you say you will do. You will be more effective, and will get more satisfaction out of devoting your energy to a few just causes.

What movie genre are you?

2007-10-21T14:26:00.000+08:00

Ever since Qi went back to at Hall 9, we get her updates via her blog. The way she MAGNIFYs little things of her daily life and put it across in such amusing, comical, entertaining, hilarious, humdinger, humorous, hysterical, laughable, ludicrous, merry, mirthful, playful, ridiculous, silly, slapstick, sportive, waggish, whimsical, witty manner.

Come on, it's obviously a Grade B picture!

We were discussing this topic last night over a box of Hor Fun, French Fries & 天涯侠医... a very cosy night without Dad, Mum & MinMin. We officially conclude mine is Independent (aka indie or amateur), avant-garde, experimental-underground films (usually low-budget), art-house, not many will understand kind of films. Hah!

It's amazing how 2 sisters of the same heritage, blood group, birthday month, up-bringing environment can be so different in terms of personality.

She is a typical sunshine, bubbly, big-eyed, ''i'm fat but i'm happy, none of your business'' & "everybody can be my friend" type of ''adorable' person.
Me, contrastingly, is those Attitude, Bo-Chup, darked face, "Don't mess with me, get lost" & "almost everyone is an eyesore", paranoid, suspicion, secretive, unfriendly, insecure, act cool, 欠扁 person. (guess no one can put myself down like that, hah!)

Qi mentioned that I'm actually quite funny at home, just that i don't bother to blog them or even think about them. I just mentioned & forget. True enough, probably i feel quite more at ease in familiar environment. Somehow, i just cant be myself outside. I find it quite stifled or suffocated, even with friends. Aiya, i think i'm just hermit, simply cant get use to those innate societal competitive, juxtaposition nature. Something along the line of an arty-fartsy person but no talent of any type! hahah...

Our blogging style speaks loudly of this. While she optimistically narrate occurences, small talk or 'freak accidents", i jot down the happenings & the after thoughts that triggered.

Simply put, She muse & ideate; I intellectualize & languished .

How different are we?
Both of us are going to blog about same thing. While mine digress into some personality analysis with some black humour of self-mockery, we see for hers*. =)

* entry not up yet.

七彩豆花

2007-10-18T14:02:00.000+08:00

Lady Boss (LB) got me a chocolate flavoured tao huay (pudding?) today.

It taste like the pudding drink i alway had at QUICKLY many many years ago.

How Reminiscing... Haizzzz

CAPRICRON

2007-10-12T12:00:00.001+08:00

~ You may be wondering whose shoulder you should cry on, dear Capricorn, when usually yours' is the shoulder that everyone else likes to use. The collar of your shirt is probably soaking wet by now, thanks to all the tears that have spilled on you. Your compassion for others is definitely one of your biggest strengths but be aware of the fact that it can also be one of your biggest weaknesses. ~

How freaking accurate. Recently, i've been so whelmed up by people's romantic-fanatic-drama-mama-marmalade. Either i have 'Aunt Agony' written on my forehead or I'm just the perfect audience for secrets-keeping, or the very fact that i'm always FREE (accord to Bro)

Somehow, unknowingly, i always kenna spiralled into ppl's affairs. 我也不想的。
So weird... Coz being human beings, I get rather affected & occupied for no reasons. I guess subconciously, curiousity & speculation is my 2nd nature. Most of the time, I can sense that something is so not right & b4 u no it, ppl started to tell me their issues. Intuition?! Maybe i give ppl a sense of security?! hah!

Haizzz... anyway, i've learn to listen, facilitate, guide and not to give suggestions. But it's just so habitual of me to come up with speculations to analyse the situations.
Sometimes 我看人还真准！

Anyway, ting was bugging me to update. Took some pic at Parkway Parade on wed while waiting for Leng to go cut hair. But i'm too lazy to download the nokia software + driver got problem. Everytime I plug something to the USB, it will blackout. I think PCs dun like me. Sighhhhhhh... sianz.

Extremely tired today, think im going to bed. Yes, 9pm on a friday.

(Leng: This is then call No Life, ok! hahah!)

Exams in 4weeks... stresssssssss! This sem is super slack.... DEAD.

2007-10-09T00:07:00.000+08:00

Period = Moody

I think i'll end up be Seung-Hui Cho #2 if I stay in the States.

We are always in constant conflict with ourselves.

Few days ago, i was getting worried coz I miss my period.

Today, I was wishing it did not come at all.

I don't like period, mine actually.

This cyclical process is so queer.

Physically, I get tired easily as the iron level decreases.

Mentally, i get very paranoid. Somehow I always assume all the whispers & sniggers are all about lauging at, making fun or teasing me, be it in class or on trains.... I'll imagine I'll have the ability to tekan them back. Be it is supernaural powers or gangster authority or even gun. BANG!

Emotionally, I get very negative, so much so that i can feel the dark aura around me. shivers...

I get very mean, cold, attitude to others, more than usual that is.

Walking alone the streets back home, i wallow in self pity, of loneliness, of deaths.

I spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about myself as a person.

Why ar?! I think my hormones are very disoriented, probably chemical imbalance in the brain, reduction in the amount of certain neurotransmitters.

Life... I hate myself. I'm getting crazy soon if these goes on.... sighh...

Again!!! =)

2007-10-02T20:56:00.000+08:00

Okie... since Facebook is currently not available, i decided to blog. Haha...

So fed-up with my hair, need a cut badly but like no time leh... sianzzz

Had to go to Boss's house to work coz the internet is still down.

Almost got deafen by the 'young master'. He got a mild condition of Thalassemia, so don't think he need to cheong hill next time in NS, ah bo he make a good lousdpeaker.

Seeing the whole family, his Mum, Dad & Maid fussing over him to get ready for school in a span of 20mins, i can't help but shaking my head.

I got on web messenger to indicate my presence. Leng was so disturbed by my absence that she actually called me. hah! This woman ar... really ultimate. Gave me a quite shocking news today.

If you are reading this, remember this: 切记要三思而后行！那一场满城风雨刚刚平静下来，你才领悟。真是的！人家的一句话比我们的千言万语还有效？Tsk tsk tsk... 有一点欠扁，不过还好啦，能理解。Hahah!

Ok.. on something else.

I had to contact my service provider to fix the internet downtime. Apparantly, i really lost touch on my human skills. i can 'complain' very well with words but when it comes to verbalising it... sigh.. sad. Response not as quick as before, really very disconnected. Jiat lat...

Really must make use of my MDIS membership & go and sign up for all sorts of courses to upgrade.

The issue of getting a laptop happen to pop up several times recently. Maybe if there's a good bargain maybe can consider since i'm like always on the move.

oki... min min is fiddling with my ancient recorder. Really no flair leh, like mouse squeaking like that. Ho Ho Ho... 让我来好好的调教。。。哈哈！